"The best thing to come out of Torquay since Jim Davidson's yacht."
Hello. Richard from Nottingham sent me this lovely piece of Colourfish fan art.
It’s wonderful, Richard. Thank you! If anyone else wants to send me images inspired by my music, feel free. Although I don’t want pictures of a German woman doing a turd with ‘Massive Star’ written underneath.
Hello. It’s me again. I keep telling myself to update this more, but I keep forgetting. I don’t have much to say anyway, apart from this: my new EP thing, Colourfish, is done. Download it, please!
I don’t know why I keep releasing music in chunks. I think I’d get more reactions if I uploaded when I finished the song. Oh well. This sort of makes me feel like a proper musician, and besides, I enjoy putting them in an order and making the EP flow. I hope it does flow. Why don’t you email me and tell me it flows? My email is around here somewhere. zombiedave[at]gmail.com.
It’s Rick Moranis in Spaceballs!
A live cover of Boards of Canada’s fucking excellent ‘Roygbiv’. Here. It’s pretty good, really.
Mum Ra: Hello, I’m Mum-Ra, and I will be with you until
*Slithe walks into the picture, wearing the patented Bid-up orange shirt, that every staff member uses.*
Slithe: That’s right, Mum-Ra! We have some stylish diamond watches coming up in half an hour, and a very rare, special auction at 12: a wooden kennel!
Mum-Ra: Yeah, I’ve put in a bid for that myself; Marmut could use a new kennel. Now, let’s get down to business. Here, we have a remarkable set of Xbox games and accessories. Do you, or your sons, like racing games? Even if they don’t, they’ll love this set. We have two Panthro endorsed steering wheels, perfect for any game where you want that extra bit of authenticity: it looks just like the inside of the Thundertank! Remarkable, it really is. And next we – shit! It’s the auction avalanche! [inaudible] It’s down to… [ audible ] £27! Down from £240! Get in on this, people, it’s a stunning saving on a stunning pack. As well as the steering wheels, we have two games in this set… first is Crash Bandicoot racing, and you can see it on the screen behind me. [ looking past the camera ] is Jackalman playing this? Yes? [ laughs and then turns back to camera ] Jackalman is playing this! Oh, go Crash! Go! Oh, you got an orange! Fire it! Oh, you’re dead.
Severance was shit. ‘probably the best British horror-comedy since Shaun of the Dead’. Talk about damning with faint praise. It’s the only British horror comedy since Shaun, practically the only British movie since Shaun, and one of only a hand full of ‘horror comedies’ I can think of. If I was to get a quote on the poster, it’d be this: “The best work of art ever made to feature the line ‘you found a pie?’”. That was the best line, incidentally. I watched the start of the director/cast/crew commentary, and the director said something like ‘we wanted it to be as ironic as possible’. As ironic as possible? What an asshole. A lot of the film’s humour fell flat on its fat, ironic dick, and I was left confused as to which bits I should be finding funny. In the end, not much of it. In conclusion: i could have wrote and directed a better film out of ten.
Want to see a good British film? Made In Britian is on limited release now, and it’s brilliant. If it’s playing near you and you don’t watch it, you’re a twat.
This is my new blog. Hopefully it will be a mixture of action und comedy, or to be more precise, a mixture of my writing and my music. Although I know few people care about my music, and not a great many care about my writing. But a combination of the two is likely to be the most popular thing since The Lyon’s Den.
A little about James Starkey. I masterminded cult, Digitiser-stealing, UK: Resistance-nicking website The Spoon, which was all about games. James and his brother John wrote it, Jake designed it and wrote features occasionally, and a load of other talentless sods also contributed. As we grew older, wiser, and more handsome, we gradually fell out with video games, to the point that we would pull its trousers down as it hung from the monkey bars. The Spoon was passion, and when that died, the website did too. Also we stopped getting review code because we didn’t play any of it and sold it on eBay.
I’m back, sans my brother, who is doing nothing at all, and I plan to write about anything that takes my fancy.
I just realised that this intro is pointless, as no-one visits this website.
Sit back and enjoy the ride. Anything could happen, but it won’t, because this is a blog.